Category: Writers Block
Sorry to to do a retake guys and gals, but when I posted this the first time, part 2 didn't get posted, so when I got it posted, it was in the wrong order, so I have to redo this so admin can delete the original.
Where do I begin to tell the strange and unusual events that have happened to me? it seems impossible, but everything has a beginning, and I must begin somewhere.There are those who will say that what I witnessed and felt was nothing more than a dream, so vivid and real, that I confused the dream with reality, and therefore,I have convinced myself that it was real.Psychiatrists, in order to humor their patients, usually say the same thing.
"I believe this is what you think you felt, or, I'm sure in your own mind, you experienced these events, but in time, you will come to realize that what happened to you is the resultof your own imaginings, and your feelings of guilt.
Guilt? Did I realy have anything to feel so guilty about, that I would have the visions and experiences I've had?
My name is Katharine Walker. I was born in Winston Salem, North Carolina. I am 30 years old, bornin2034
I am as of yet, single, happily unattached as it were, for the most part, because at some point in the relationship, either I, or my boyfriend decided we weren't right for each other.We had little, or no common interests, too little empathy, too much apathy, always something. Usually, I seemed to be at fault for the relationships' end.
I was either too serious, not serious enough, overlytalkative, not talkative enough.Tiffany, my best friend from work always use to say, "when ya gonna settle down Kath?You could if you wanted to,you're just afraidof committing yourself to marriage, and all that goes with it
"Oh go on, i said, "how do you know what I'm afraid of?"
"We've only been friends a couple of years I know,but whenever the subject comes up,You get this nervous expression on your face and you change the subjectvery quick."
Tif and I don't always agree,but we became friends, when I started my waitressing job at the Silver Moon restaurant.
I was really nervous my first day on the job, and Tiffany eased me through. "Don't sweat it, hon," she reassured, "just take it slow at first, and if you're not sure of an order, just ask first. Better to be sure the customers' order is right first, rather than getting it wrong too many times." I made the mistakes most newbies make at first,but with practice, and Tiffany's help, I gained skill and speed, and was able to take orders quite fast, if I do say so myself. I was fairly satisfied with my job, it wasn't the greatest,but it was a living, and living on my own, no husband and kids to support, it put food on the table.Sometimes we even spoke to the customers, though Tiffany had more of the gift of gab with them than I, I just more or less waited for my shift to be over, but I didn't want them telling the boss I was unsociable, so I tried to smile and be civil. Looking back now, I realize I realize I was a little short in some respects, in the courtesy department.It was on one of those particularly bad days, that I met Rob Hansen. I didn't know his name at first, not until Tiffany told me. That's Tiffany for you, always starting conversations right off, and getting whateverinformation she could getout of those who chose to give it. It had been a really bad dayall around,Customers complaining I wasn't fast enough, though I was going as fast as I could. Charlie, the boss, kept demanding to know when I was going to get a steak, that a customer claimed he ordered 45 minutes ago.My shift was almost over, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of there and head for home. I was doing the dinner shift, and it was always crowded at that time, especially on Fridays, when folks got payed, or had a short dinner hour, and just stopped in for a short bite. It was finally over, and I was rushing out the door, when I bumped in to a young man. He looked like he could've been about 2 or 3 years younger than I. "Watch where you're going," I snapped, "what's wrong with you anyway, are you blind or something?" "Yeah," was the response, "what's wrong with you, you sighted or something?" I stopped, dead in my tracks, totally flustered now. "You mean you really are, um, ... "It's ok, it's not contagious, nothing disasterous is going to happen if you say the word blind." "Well how was I to know that you were, I mean, that you couldn't, I mean, ... I stood there stammering, knowing I sounded like a total idiot. The more I tried, the worse it seemed to get. Finally, I gave up, and walked out the door.
I made it to my car and started driving towards home.Phew, what a day this has been, I thought. I wondered what, if anything, the blind guy told Charlie.
Charlie often liked to stop by customers tables,and ask how their meal was,and if everything was alright. Would the guy come back again, and if so,would he tell charlie what had happened?What if Charlie fired me? Thoughts of unemployment persued me as I drove.Maybe I could find a nice station on the radioto listen to,a music station that would help me relax.
Some features in cars nowadays was equipped with voice recognition,so you could use voice commands. "Radio on" I said. Instantly, the radio came on with a station playing soft rock. There were no more country stations unfortunately, They had mostly been taken over by talk stations, junky stuff, psychiatrists explaining how you could change your life. There was really nothing that could take my mind off the restaurant incident, so I turned the radio off, with the single command, "radio, off" There was a tiny click, and the radio switched off
I pulled into the driveway, resolving to get my mind off things one way or another, nothing I could do about it today. I decided to turn on the computer, and see what I could find of interest on the net.
.
I turned on the computer, and it came on instantly.I had heard elderly peoplein the restaurant talking about the late 20th and early 21st century, when most computers were big heavy machines, that sat on desks, and didn't have nearly as much ram and processor speed as the tiny hand helds of today,desktops, they were called. I often liked talking to the elderly gentlemen about the bad old days of computing.
"Yes," the would say, back then, you had dial-up, and connections could get slow, and it took almost an hour to download files, sometimes even longer, depending on the file size.
Yuck. I was sure glad I wasn't computing in those days.With connection speeds up to 6000 kbps per second, I don't think I could've stood pokeyconnections down to 56,or 33.6 kbps. And those 2 gb, and even 10 gb hard drives, ick!And how about those 500 mb processors? No thanks,just give me my little ole wheel and deal machine, sporting 20,000 megahertz processor,and 2000 gigs of free disk space.And 5000 megs of ram wasn't shoddy either
gone were the days, when folks had to sit and wait,either 30 to 60 seconds for the computer to boot up. There was also no shut down process anymore. in short, turning a computer on and off was jus likeflipping a switch. You press a switch, and it comes on, press it again, and it goes off. I considered going to tv.com and trying to find a good movie to watch, but somehow, I just didn't feel in the mood for tv.
I decided to find a place to chat instead. I logged on to a program I have called super chat. Both Tiffany and i like to go there sometimes, when it's been one of those long days. I opened the program, logged in under my usual name of Cafe Queen, and moved up the list of rooms to see if anything interested me. I found a room called Reena's fireside chat, and clicked on it to enter.
"Where's TJ tonight?" I asked when I'd greeted the others in the room. Tiffany decided to use her initials, since she couldn't think of a clever screen name.
"We don't know," mused a girl with the screen name of Rapunzel, "she hasn't been in here tonight."
Rapunzel has long hair, that's how she got the name Rapunzel, plus, she loved hearing her grandmother tell the fairy tale when she was a child.
"We have a newcomer with us CQ, say hi to Lady Mcbeth, Grettle encouraged.Of all of us in the group, Grettle was more friendly and conscientious of newcomers.As is usually common in chat rooms today, people barely speak to you, unless they already know you,and in some cases,they don't even acknowledge that you're even in the room. Most of us didn't care, we were in to our thing, and couldn't be bothered with newcomers.
"Hi lady Mcbeth" I said absently. everyone else chimed in with their hellos.
"How did you get the name Cafe Queen?"Lady Mcbeth asked me.
"she works in a restaurant" explained Cinderella. Herreal name was cindy, so she thought, why not just make it Cinderella.
"So by the way," questioned Grettle, "how was work today?"
"Terrible," I sighed gloomily, "I ran right in to this blind guy, and it was just one of those dayswhen I was in a hurry, and in a bad mood. I told them the whole story, and what I had said to the guy, and his response.
"Now he'll probably tell Charlie, and Charlie will probably chew me out, if he doesn't fire me."
"That's awful," Cindy sympathized, "do you have those kind of people in there often?"
"He was the first one I remember being in there," I said, "and he had the nerve to ask what was wrong with me, I said, growing more indignant the more I thought about it.
"A bit smart alecky, huh?" Lady Mcbeth commented.
Just then, Tiffany's name flashed on the screen.
"What's up?" she asked curiously.
I filled her in.
"Oh man, Charlie ain't gonna like this" Tiffany observed.
"I know," I groaned, "I guess I'll have to apologize to him. How did I know he was one of those people?"
"Whether he's blind has nothing to do with it," Tiffany remarked, "Charlie just doesn't like an employee being rude to a customer
We talked a little more after that, then I decided it was time for me to go to bed, so I told the others good night.
"See you tomorrow katharine" was Tiffany's parting comment as I exited the room. .I turned the computer off, wentin the bedroom, and crawled in to bed.
It was a long time before I fell asleep, butwhen I did so, I had the strangest dream imaginable, a dream which I had never had before in my life.
I was in a different place,a different room. My trusty computer wasn't there either. There was a chair that rolled, instead of my familiarhard, straight backed chair. That wasn't the worst of it. I couldn't see one single thing. I was totally, completely, utterly blind. Strangely enough, I knew where everything was, even though I couldn't see. by some sort of strange instinct, I maneuvered around by feel. Instead of the familiar little tablewhere my tiny little computeralways sat, stood a desk, rather large in size, and there sat one of the bulkiest, heavy lookingcomputers I'd ever seen. Man, this was really weird. I felt around the desk,and noticed some drawers. Out of curiosity, I opened the top one.There were at least 3 stacks of little round things in plastic containers.what the heck were these little things? I turned one over in my hands. I had a vague memory of someone at the Silver Moon talking about these little round things, what did he say they were called? Oh yes, cds. They use to store a lot of information. Then dvd's came out, and they gradually became obsolete.
Suddenly, the loud piercing sound of my alarm clock came on,instantly jerking me awake.I sat up, rubbing my eyes.
What a weird dream, I thought, more like somestrange sort of vision. The room seemed so real. Odd, the room seemed so familiar, and and strange at the same time. The feeling of the dream still lingered. Still puzzling over it, I went in to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. I had finished my coffee and toast, and had just gotten ready, when there was a knock at the door. I went and peeped out, and therestood Tiffany.
"hiya." she greetedme, as she stepped in to the room.
"Hey, what's up girl friend?" I greeted back.
"My car is acting up," Tiffany grumped, "I'm beginning to hate that huge hunk of tin."
"What's wrong with it?" I asked.
"It keeps cutting off on me. Anyway, she continued, "Thought maybe you could give me a lift, and we could ride to work and back together."
"Sure," I agreed, "no prob, let's go."
"So," Tiffany observed as I drove, "you don't look too good, bad night?"
"Horrible," I complained, I don't ever want to have a night like that again."
"Couldn't sleep?"
I pondered. "I wish it had been just that. I'd rather have had insomnia."
"Bad dream huh?" was Tiffany's conclusion.
"It was a nightmare, I dreamed I was blind."
"oo, Yuk," was Tiffany's thoughtful response.I told her about the dream, the room, and all I could rememberabout it.
"Weird," she mused, "but I think you've just got blind on the brain, and you need to stop obsessing over this guy, and what happened. Odds are, Charlie will be too busy totalk to him, and he won't get the chanceto tell him anything, so stop worring about it."
Maybe she was right. anyhow, I knew I had to stop thinking about it for a few hours, and concentrate on the job. I was doing the breakfast shift,and most likely, the dinner shift as well.
Our shift was indeed a busy one, and Tiffany and I didn't get much time to talk.
A little after the lunch hour, I noticed 2 women coming in the door. I could tell by the way one woman was leading the other, that one was blind. Oh no, not another blind person.
"Katharine, go wait on them, will you?" Charlie called as he was passing by.
Oh dear, it looked like I was going to have to wait on her, no help for it. Charlie was busy, and Tiffany was rushing from table to table, looking rushed.I asked the sighted woman first what she would have. The woman gave me her order, and I turned to the blind woman, but instead of asking her directly, I asked the sighted woman, "And what will she have?"
The blind woman gave me her order in a rather snippy haughty tone. Good grief, I thought, are all of them that overly sensitive?
I sighed and went to get the order. Somehow, I knew this wasn't going to be my day.
I took 3 more orders, and by that time, the woman and her companions' order was ready. I brought their order and made a hasty escape.
An hour or 2 later, there was a slack in customers, and Charlie told Tiffany and I, that it would be alright for us to take a break, so we sat down in a couple of booths.
"Oh my feet are killing me," Tiffany said with a sigh, "how about you, I see you were busy also?"
"Yeah, I had to wait on another blind person.
"Well, you might as well get use to that hone," was Tiffany's logical comment, "a customer is a customer,and they're entitled to be here just as much as we are you know."
"Whose side are you on?" I asked, a bit irritated.
"I'm not on any side, I'm just telling you the way it is, you're going to have all kinds of different people in here,blind people included."
She was right I guess, but boy oh boy, they sure hard to deal with.
"And" Tiffany informed me, "maybe this will make you feel better
Right now, I'd settle for any good news."
"You haven't had a day off in a while,so Charlie told me to tell you, you could have the day off tomorrow."
Thank you Charlie, I breathed silently, a day off was just what the doctor ordered, and I was ready for it.
"You lucky girl," Tiffany said with mournful envy,I wish I had the day off, but we don't havea lot of help, so I have to stay and hold down the fort, yippee, lucky me. The last remarks were spoken witha hint of sarcasm.
I was really looking forward to having a wholeday off to myself, and not doing much of anything if I didn't want to. I luxuriated in the thought.
"Time to get back to work, ladies,"Charlie called.
" later girlfriend" I said to Tiffany as I reluctantly got up to finish my shift.
Tiffany and I were busy for the next couple of hours,and didn't get to talk anymore until our shift was over, and we were on the way home. I would have to drop Tiffany off at her house first, since we had driven to work in my car.
"I'm going to have to call a car placeand see if Ican't get them to have it fixed" Tiffany lamented gloomily. I sympathized, observing that they didn't make cars to lastvery long anymore
Tiffany grew tired of talking about car troubles,so we talked about the job instead.
"So what happened between you and the last blind customer?" Tiffany wanted to know.
"Oh nothing really," I shrugged, I just took their order and asked the other woman what the blind woman wanted, that's all."
"Well," Tiffany said, growing thoughtful, "maybe you should've asked her directly."
"So Ibroke a breach of blind ettiquette, and didn't ask her directly, what's the big deal?"
"You have to talk to them the way you'd talkto them the way you'd talk to anyone else," she explained reasonably,"They don't like it when people talk around them, through them, or at them, they want to be talked to directly."
"How do you know so much about blind people?" I questioned, "you haven't been around that many of them your self."
"It's just common sense," Tiffany reasoned, "I don't think anyone likes being treatedas if they were practically invisible, or like they don't hear anything,when they can. Come to think of it, I don't think I would either."
"Alright, alright, I get your point" I said, though to tell the truth, I'm notso sure I did. I think mostly, I just said I did, mostly to get Tiffany off the subject. She seemed more at ease with blind people, though icouldn't understand why. Maybe she was just more of a rationalist than I was,maybe I was just out of touch, I didn't know.
I pulled up in front of Tiffany's house, and the subject was dropped for the time being.
"Well," Tiffany said, gotta get ready and rested for tomorrow, another day another dollar."
"Well, guess I'll see you the day after tomorrow, right?"
"Guess so" Tiffany responded. Since Charlie had given me the day off tomorrow,that meant I was free to do what I pleased.
.
I drove home,filled with thoughts of what I might do with my time off. I had the rest of today, and a whole day ahead of me. I pulled in to my driveway, got out, and went in the house. I turned on the computer and logged on to the super chat program. I went in to 'Reena's chat, and most of the usual folk were there, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Lady Mcbeth, and one newcomer I didn't recognize.
"Say hello to Aquarius girl" Grettle said. that was Grettle, always making sure everyone was acknowledged. The rest of us followed along,because although we were cliquish,and had our own favorite ones, we didn't want to seem that way,and if anyone hadremarked on our clanishness, and accused us of shutting others out, we would've denied it to the bitter end.
I noticed, no one was talking very much to Aquarius girl at all. Of course, no one talked very much to newcomersvery much anyway, but it seemed after Grettle had introduced her,nobody was talking to her at all, except when she occasionalyasked a question, or made a comment, then someonewould half heartedly reply, but other than that, she was all but ignored.
There were a few voice rooms on super chat, but most of us preferred text chat, due to the fact that it was easier to get a word in here and there, and most of us were fast typists.
"How are you Cafe Queen?" Aquarius Girl asked me.
"Pretty good" I respondeddutifully, "and you?"
I noticed it seemed to be taking her a bit longer to respond to text messages than it did the rest of us.
"Sorry if it's taking a bitlonger longerfor me," Aquarius apologized, "but I'm blind, and I have to arrow up and down with the arrow keys to read the text, and I'm afraid I'm not very fast. I'm a fairly fast typist, but not quite so fast at arrowingup and down to find text."
Oh no, here we go again, I said to myself, this seemed to be blind day for me.
"You seem to get around the screenfairly well, considering your circumstances" Rapunzel observed, mostly for the sake of saying something.
"Screen readers are a big help," Aquarius commented, they've improved a lot in the past 65 years or so,but they still can't read everything automatically, and sometimes it takes a bit of doing to read all the text."
"How did you come by the nickname AquariusGirl?" Cindy asked, probably not too interested, but we did make dutiful attempts with newcomers,just so they wouldn't go around saying we didn't talk to them at all.
"My Birthday is in February," she explained, "so I thought it just suited me."
"Oh" was the only response. No one especially wanted to hear about screen readers, whatever they did, or how they did whatever they were supposed to do. There followed a few minutes of total silence, after which,everyone started talking about other things, much as if Aquarius had never been there.LAbout 25 minutes later, someone thought to look where the names of people showed up, and Aquarius Girl had left.
"Aren't there rooms for people likethat?"inquired Lady Mcbeth.
"Doesn't look like it does it?" Cindy concluded.
"Well there should be," was Rapunzels' opinion, "we don't have anything to talk to those people about."
I agreed,and since the others felt no real necessity to talk to her, neither did I.
Why did I feel this slight prickle of guilt?As I could see, there was no reason for it at all. I pushed the feeling aside, annoyed that I was even having the feeling at all.The others soon forgot about Aquarius Girland continued talking about their day and interests.
I had a strange feeling of deja vu, as if I had somehow been in Aquarius Girls' situation, or something similar.Nonsense, I scoffed inwardly. I had never had trouble fitting in, it always came natural to me. So why did it suddenly feel likeI had been in Aquarius' shoes?I didn't feel like talking anymore, so I bade the other ladies a good evening, and exited the room. Sighing, I turned off the computer.
I decided to do a little reading before turning in for the night.I chose a light mystery, nothing heavy, and settled down on the couch.
I had gone about 20 pages or more, when suddenly, everything began to fade.I was no longer in my living room. but another room, the same room in fact, that I had been in in the dream. How could this be? I was fully awake. There sat the chair that rolled,and there sat the desk with the heavy computer. And therewere thesame drawerson the right hand side, 3 to be exact. Part of me felt frightenedat being thrust in to strange surroundingsand totally without warning, yet another part of me felt at ease in this weird environment. Just like the dream, I was totally blind. I sat, running my hands over the computer. It was hooked up to something, a weird contraption, with buttons on the front of it. One button was out, so I pushed on it, and it went smoothly in. Nothing happened. I felt cautiously on the front of the bulky heavy computer. Wonder what this was for? I pushedit in, and jumped. There was a beep, and a slight humming noise. Yikes, the thing was coming on. I waited for what seemed like a long time for it to boot. Actually, I suppose it had been no more than 30 seconds, a minute at the most,but when you live in an age where computers start instantly, and there's no waiting time, 30 to 60 seconds seems like a long time to wait for a computer to get started. There was quite a bit of grinding noise for a few seconds, and then, there was a there was a burst of music, again making me jump, I was so startled. Maybe now it was ready to go? No, more grinding noise.What on earth was it doing now? Suddenly, there was a mechanical sounding voice coming out of 2 tall speakers.What in the world was that? The mechanical thing was talking. "Jaws for windows is ready" It then gave instructions on getting to the desktop. How in the world was I going to accomplish that? It seemed to already be there.I felt around on the keyboard. Luckily, I could type, and knew where all the keys were. What in the world was this jaws thing? Sounded like the name of a shark in a moviearound 90 years ago.
i pressed keys experimentally. "My computer" the mechanical voice said. That was a laugh. This wasn't my computer. My computer was much smaller, more compact, than this huge monster. i moved around with the keys for a few more minutes, desperately longing to use the mouse.There was one right next to the computer, but not being able to see, I had no way to use it. How does anyone in any computer age live without the mouse, I mused. Now how to shut the thing down? I managed to make my way back to the desktop. I was sitting there one minute, wondering how I was going to shut it down,and feeling quite helpless without the mouse, and the next minute, by that strange instinct, I found myself pressing the alt and the f4 keys together.Instantly, The mechanical voice was asking me what I wanted to do. It gave me several choices, shut down, restart, restart in msdose mode, whatever that meant. Fortunately, I was already on shutdown. I knew somehow to press enter. It was a little distracting at first, what with that mechanical thing repeating everything I typed, but I found inspite of myself, I was getting use to it. Immediately on pressing enter, there was another burst of music, different this time, more like a grand finale. There was a slight, and the computer was off. Thank goodness.
I felt things fading away suddenly, and there I was, back in my own world, sitting on the couch, my book still open on my lap.
I sat there on the couch, in total shock. I couldn't believe it. It was one thing to have a dream,but this hadn't been a dream at all. I had been totally conscious. I hadn't been as frightened when I was havingthe waking dreamas I was now, now that I was out of it, and back to reality. One thing for certain though, whereever I had been, it was definitely not of this world, but sometime in the past, but how far back?
It was getting late, according to the clockafter 11 30, so I decided it was bestI go to bed. There would be time to reflect moreabout this strange waking dream in the morning.What else do you call an experience, in which you are totally awake,but are transported to another place?
I closed my book, got up, and went to bed. I slept on and off until morning. I got up and made coffee. I wondered what Tiffany would make of this strange experienceI'd had. She would probably think I was losing my mind,and under the circumstances, I wondered the same thing.
Iresolved to check in to the net and doa search on screen readers. That might give me some kind of clue about the mechanical voice on that computer in my, ... what should I call it? My vision? I turned on the computer and logged in to the auto search search enginethat guarantees to find any information, even on topics that were outdated. I typed, screen readers, Instantly, the search engine came up with several matches. I scrolled down the list, and found a very informative web page, that explained their use by blind people to readwhat what was on the screen. Therewas a lot of information on how they could be customized, and the different kinds of programs that could be read with them. There were sights where you could download trial versions,but I had had enough for the moment of eexperimenting with them directly, just reading about them would do for now. I decided to print the information so I could read it at my leisure, rather than doing the whole search again. I clicked on the file menu, and chose print.Printers were automaticallybuilt in to computers, making external printers extinct
With in seconds, the information was printed, and I removed the sheets of paper from the machine. I would read, and reread them later.I surfed around for a while, not really finding much that I wanted to do just then.
It was getting almost lunch time. Maybe I'd go over to the silver Moon, it would be nice being there as a customer for a change. Charlie,I knew would treat me as he did the regular customers, asking me how everythingwas and making sure I was beingwaited on. .
I got in the car and drove, still thinking about the waking dream and wondering the reasoning behind it.
Tiffany greeted me almost as soon as I stepped inside.
"What's the matter girl, couldn't stay away from this place one day? Tiffany joked.
"Well," I teased back, "after a while, the place sort of grows on you."
Tiffany laughed,"I guess when you've been in this place for a while, it becomes addictive."She turned. I have to go wait on a customer. Oh, by the way, he's here."
"Who? I asked curiously.
"Robb."
"We don't know any Rob do we?"
"The blind guy you ran in to a few days ago." I gulped.
"Well, I said, a bit hesitantly,"I guess I'd better go over and apologize to him, but I think I'll have something to eat first, no sense doing it on an empty stomach."
"He's not all that bad," stated Tiffany, He's rather nice actually."
"Yeah" I mumbled, not quite sure I was convinced
I had my meal, then stealed my self to do what I knew had to be done.
.
I moved over to a corner booth where I saw Rob sittingwith a man who looked to be a few years older. The older man turned towards me.
"Hi there"he greeted me uncertainly.
"Hi," I replied, hoping I didn'tsound timid, defensiv, rather I was hoping that if I didn't sound sincere,I might at least sound neutral.
"I'm one of the waitresses here" I said.
"You're the one who ran in to me a few days ago" Rob put in. I was relieved his tone didn't sound menacing.Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad, or as awkward as I had dreaded it would be.
"That's me," I almost faltered, I took a deep breath and plunged on. I'm sorry about what happened,I'm afraid I was in a bit of a hurry that day, and was in a bad mood to bargain. It was one of those days when nothing goes right."
"We all have those days" Rob admitted.
"Anyway," I continued, "I'm sorry it happened."
"Think nothing of it," Rob assured,"it's ok, it happenes to the best of us."
"Rob is pretty easy going and good natured most of the time," commented the man beside him, "but he can have a temper if he's pushed hard enough."
I wondered if this was a warning.
"I'm not quite that bad," protested Rob, "just sometimes, a few here and there push my buttons, and I give it to them straight, but I don't just go flying off the handle."
I didn't ask the question that was still uppermost in my mind, had he told Charlie what had happened? I was relieved things were turning out as well as they were, and I was really beginning to like Rob, and this thought took me completely by surprise, because I hadn't expected to at all.
Charlie was making his way over.
"Everything alright folks?" asked Charlie in his usual friendly manner,which always won customers.
"just fine," Rob replied, "we were just having a pleasant chat with one of your waitresses."
"Ah yes," responded charlie, "she's one of our top waitresses here. I hope everything is to your satisfaction?"
"Very well thank you," the other man put in politely,"everything's perfect."
So, Rob hadn't told charlie aboutmy behavior after all. I was grateful, and even a bit touched. He could've told Charlie at any time, and Charlie could've fired me for being rude to a customer, or at the very least, he might've given me a verbal thrashing. but Rob had chosen not to tell him.
"Well,"Charlie excused himself, I wanted to come over and make sure everything was alright."
"Thank you very much," responded Rob,"it was very nice meeting you, and it's been nice talking to, um,he paused, and I said, "Katharine."
"glad to know you Katharine," Rob answered. "I'm rob, and this is my brother, Jerald.
"Likewise"said Jerald.
"Well," I turned to go. "it was very nice meeting both of you, I said, "but I think it's time for me to go now."
"It's been nice chatting with you" bothRob and Jerald said as I walked away.
"You too," I answered, "and thank you."
I walked out to my car, feeling a bit better. Tiffany had been right, Rob did seem to be nice. He had been quite gracious on the whole. his brother had seemed alright, but I was shocked to realize,that I had liked Rob muchmore than I did Jerald.
,
I drove home, wishing I had someone to confide in about my strange experiences.I might would confide to Tiffany, if I had more of them. Tiffany was my closest friend, so it would be logical that she would be the one I could talk to. And yet, as fairly close to her as I was, this was a little too way out there, even for her. Perhaps in time, I might bring myself to tell her about it, but how would I broach the subject?Hey Tiffany, guess what, I'm having experiences of being someone else,in another place, in another time. She knew about the dream, but dreams are perfectly normal, being transported to anothertime and place when you were wide awake, definitely was not.
I found myself wondering what Rob would think of the whole thing. Why was I thinkingabout Rob and his possible reactions? I didn't even know the man, he was a total stranger to me, and I was to him. And naturally, not knowing me, he would think I was a bigger flake than Tiffany would. At least Tiffany knew me well enough to know I wasn't given to fanciful imaginings, and would try to take me halfway seriously, even if my story made me sound like a lunatic. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, not just yet. I would wait until I had more of these strange episodes,before I even thought about telling anyone. I went in the house, and sat on the couch, deciding to read my notes that I had printed about screenreaders. They had been around for a long time,apparently getting their startfrom back in the dos days when everything was text based and used text instead of menus and icons. Then dos started dying out, so they had to be adapted for windows. Learning all these keystrokes would be a real pain, I thought. How anyone could indure life without the mouse wastotally beyond me, yet I suppose in the end, one does what one has to do. I read the notes for awhile, and decided to read more of my mystery, which I thought would be a bit more relaxing. I still knew I had to learn as much as I couldabout the possible time period I had been in, and learning about these screen readers seemed to be the only thing I had to go on. Of course, I could always hope these experiences would stop, and I'd have nothing more to worry about, but I had no way of knowing if they would continue, or if they would stop as suddenly as they had begun. My experiences and the screen readers had to be linked to some period in time. If there were only some way to find out exactly what year I had been in. It certainly wasn't recent, I wassure of that, but how many years back was it? 40? 80? 100?I couldn't pinpoint the year exactly, but the type of computer, and desk I had seen, no, not seen, at least not visually, that type of computer and deskwas definitely an indication, that the time period had been a long time ago, maybe the late 19th century, or possibly the 21st.
I started reading my mystery book again, to get my mind off things, because in truth, I could only think about this stuff for short periods of time. It was too mind boggling to think about all the time. I suddenly felt the familiar feeling of everything fading away.oh no, I was going to have another one.
I was back in the other room with the heavy computer. This time, it was already on. I sat there in the chair with the rollers, trying to think what to do.At least that odd computer was already on, so I didn't have to go through all those steps to turn it on. I was a bit amazed to findhow quickly I was getting use ta world without sight, not that I liked it any better,just because I was getting use to it. I still hated it, but at least I was getting resigned to the fact, that in this world,I was, and probably always would be blind, whenever I entered it. I wondered if there was an internet connection on this computer. If so, how would I go about connecting?I remembered how I had gone about pressing keys the last time I had one of these flashes, so I did so again. Going through the alphabet didn't help much, until I hit the letter n, I was placed immediately on something called networld. I pressed enter on it, and was promptly asked for a pass word. Heck and darnation, I fumed,how was I supposed to know a password on a strange computer? If I were in some sort of alternate universe, what the chances be that the pass word on my computerwould be the same as the password onthis computer? I typed in my id, kw, which were my initials, and typed in the passwordfor my own computer in my world. Instantly, the strange screen reader voice announced, "the password you have entered is incorrect, please choose the internet service you wish to connect to, and then enter your user id and password to connect. " Ok, now what? I was thinking it was a hopeless cause, and I would never get any further,as if through no will of my own, letters and numbers started forming in my head. First the initials sm, then a series of letters and numbers. Should I try them? they wouldn't work, of course. How could a series of random letters and numbers work? They had just sprung out of thin air. Oh well, I might as well try it, I had nothing to lose.
I typed in, sm, the initials. Then in the password field, I typed in the letters and numbersthat hadso strangely come in to my head. There was a strange sound, like someone punching a series of numbers on a telephone very fast, an odd squaking noise, and then the mechanical voice started talking again."You are connected to networld, september 1st, 2004. 2004? Mercy sakes alive, this was 60 years in the past! no wonder things seemed so strange, and I felt so out of place,and I felt strangely at home as well. How could thisroom be so strange and familiar at the same time? I'd never seen it before, yet a part of me feltas if I knew every inch of this room. How else could I move around so easily in the dark, in a room that wasn't my own?
There was some sort of chat program on the desktop i was unfamiliar with, or was I? I logged on to it and went in a room. I was spoken to automatically by the other members in the room. Well, I thought, people aren't much different in this past world as they were in thepresent one. Strange, while i was in the room, the screen reader apparently couldn't talk. I wondered why. I was greeted in a moderately friendly tone, Though I could tell I was not of their group, and theywere not particularly interested in talking to me. Funny how I was sensitive to the slightest tone of voice. That was another thing I hated. It wasn't comfortable,being so sensitive to voices, I hated it. I was asked my location, and told them I was in North Carolina. How did I know, in this strange past, that I was still in North Carolina? Yet, I did know. I was asked to tell about myself, and when I told them I was blind, there was total dead silence for a minute. I waited,and asthe silence continued, I had to conclude that everyone else had left,and I was in the room alone.
I went in several other rooms, sometimes the others left, sometimes they just continued on as if I had never been there.
Quite suddenly, it was all over, and I was back on the couch where I had started,the book I had been reading still on mylap. I had left that sceen with noone talking to me, and I had that strange feeling, that that had been all too familiar. The shoe had been on the other foot.I had been treated the same way we had treated the blind woman.
I got up, stretched, and went to bed, feeling decidedly uncomfortable. I woke the next morning, feeling drained. These experiences would be almost like living a double life,if they weren't so brief. What could I do to get rid of them? I didn't want them, that was for certain. Should I go to a psychiatrist? On the one hand, it seemed like the only alternative, but psychiatrists always seemed to be looking forsigns of mental instability in people, in which case, one would have a field day with me, and my experiences, real as I knew they were, would make me a prime candidate for the nearest rubber room.
I ate breakfast, not reallyhaving much of an appetite, and started getting ready for work.
I drove, wondering if it was time to tell someone about these experiences of mine. Tiffany still seemed like the logical choice, because we had known each other for at least 2 years. I just hoped she wouldn't be one of those people who humor youby pretending to believe you, while all the time thinking, you need help. Sure, I needed help, but psychiatric help was the last thing I wanted, and in truth, as bizarre as the experiences were, I still didn't think I needed it.
I pulled up in front of the silver Moon, feeling rather relieved that I had finally decided to tell someone, and get it out in the open, and off of my chest. The breakfast shift was very busy, so I had to start work right away, which would mean Tiffany and I wouldn't have a minute to spare until the breakfast crowd thinned out.I was so busy waiting on tables for the next few hours, I didn't have any time to think about my strange predicament for quite a while. As soon as the crowd thinned, I made my way to a booth where I saw Tiffany, looking relieved to be off her feet.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"Ok," Tiffany responded, "it's just been a bit hectic, that's all, nothing out of the ordinary, what's up with you? I didn't even get a chance to speak to you all morning, everything alright?"
"Not really," I admitted unwillingly,
"I thought you didn't look too chipper this morning, what's wrong? Want to talk about it?"
"Well," I hesitated, yes and no. I do want to talk about it and get it in the open, and in a way, I don't want to talk about it, because it'll sound totally crazy and off the wall, and you probably won't believe any of it.
"Why shouldn't I believe it?"Tiffany inquired wonderingly, we've always been able to tell each other things."
"Yeah, but this is completely different, it wouldn't make sense to you, nor to anyone else."
"Well, you aren't going to know until you tell me, so come on, give, what's wrong?
I told her the whole strange story.
"You're kidding" was Tiffany's astonished . Katharine, you can't be serious, things like that just don't happen.
"So why are they happening to me then?" comment
"I don't know" responded Tiffany unhelpfully. Maybe you've been working too hard. Sometimes we have dreams so real, we can't tell which is the dream, and which is reality, that's all that's happening here.The only experiences you've been having are all in your head.
"No they're not," I insisted, the first one, yes, it was a dream, but the last 2 times I was awake, and everything was so real, the room, the desk, the computer, ... I trailled off, seeing that Tiffanywasn't believing a word of it. Had I really expected her to? Well, maybe I hadn't expected her to believe it word for word, just as I had outlined it, but I was disappointed that she didn't seem to be giving the benefit of the doubt. I guess I had hoped she would say something like, impossible as it is, I know you're telling the truth. I know you, and I know you aren't crazy.This had been a bad idea from the beginning.
I stood up to leave. "This was a mistake," I said, I wish I hadn't told you."
"OhKatharine, wait a minute" Tiffany called after me as I was walking away. I didn't turn back. I went to sit in another booth until my shift was over. I just didn't feel like discussing it with Tiffany anymore. Why had I told her in the first place? Because I thought she was my best friend, and she'd believe in me, even if what Ihad told her was so impossible.
The crowd was starting to pick up again, and it was a relief to be busy again, because I wanted to get back to something sane and normal, and I wanted to forget, if only for a while, that my best friend had thought I was imaginingeverything, or making it up. Whatever she thought, I wanted to forget for the time being,that I had noone to talk to who would even try to understand what I was going through.
I worked nonstop through the lunch hour, grateful to have my mind on something. I kept busy, running from table to table, making sure I'd gotten orders right, and taking new orders. I noticed two familiar figures coming in. I went over. "Rob? I greeted Rob and Jerald, noticing how glad I was to see Rob.
"How are you Rob, good to see you again."
"Good to see you," Rob responded, "how are you doing?"
"I'm ok" I answered.
"Your words say ok, but your voice says otherwise Rob commented observingly.
"He's pretty sharp on voices" noted Jerald,"a lot sharper than most sighted people are."
"It's just a sense that develops over time,"Rob stated modestly,"actually, not all blind people are that overly voice sensitive."
I could've told them from personal experience, that it didn't necessarily have to comewith time. I remembered the feeling I'd had in my vision, when I had been atuned to the slightest voice change.
"Isn't ita bit awkward alwayspicking upon every little feeling, every little irritation, just by the voice tone?"I wondered.
Rob thought a moment. "Not especially,but thenI'm not reallyan overly sensitive person. For people who are too sensitive, it can be a blessing/curse,for instance, if a slightly sharp tone feels like aslap, or angry shouting cuts through you like a knife, then it can be rather unpleasant at times."
"That's so true," I murmured, half to myself.
"You almost sound like you know the feeling" Jeraldexclaimed musingly.
I stumbled for an explanation."well, it just sounds logical" I finally managed. There wasno way I could explain to them about my experiences, though if I told either of them, it would most likely be Rob. We had only met twice, and I was amazed athow I seemed to be feelingmore and more at ease with him. I scolded myself. Don't be silly, you don't even know the man. It was true, I didn't know him, but I wassurprised I was enjoying his company, since I usually found blind peoplerather difficult to talk to.
"We have a neighbor, an elderly lady," Jerald was saying,and she use to know a blind woman over 60 years ago.In fact, the house next door to us is sittingright where her old house to be."
"Really?" I was suddenly interested. "what was her name? if it's alright to ask.
"Sure," Rob supplied readily,"it was Sarah, Sarah Morrison
I hoped the shockdidn't show on my face. That name matched the initialsI typed in to gaininternet access on thatstrange computer in the past life I had been in.
"You look sort of startled, Katharine, Jerald observed, "you look likeyou'd seen a ghost."
I felt like saying, no, I didn't see a ghost, but for a couple of times, I thought I was one.
"Oh, sorry," I apologized, "just had a bad night, that's all."
"Maybe you need some time off," Rob suggested, "it would do you the world of good."
"No, I'm alright," I protested, "besides, I just had a day off, and charlieisn't that overly generous with giving days off, I'm lucky I got the day off when I did."
"I guess you have to take what you can get," Rob mused philosophically, "enjoy what you can when you can."
I nodded automatically,then remembered I had to be more verbal with rob, so I said, "Yeah, it's a pity life can't be more like that."
A few more customers came in, and all too soon it seemed, the talk was over, and I had to start serving again.
I said hello to some of the regulars, just the usual, "How's it going" sort of thing, but not very much most of the time.It occurred to me strangely enough, that except forthe few occasional chatswith some of the older folks once in a while, I had conversed with Rob much more than I usually did with most customers.
I glanced slightly in Tiffany's direction, but she didn't look back, for which I was relieved, because I still didn't feel like talking to her, it still felt too awkward. She would probably suggest I see someone about my experiences, a psychiatrist no doubt, and I did not needone of those lunatic happy shrinkspoking in to my brain, and trying to figure out what made me tick,thank you very much. I would just wait these halucination things out. They wouldbe bound to go away sooner or later, though I hoped it was sooner.
As soon as my shift was over, I headed for home. I didn't speak to Tiffany on the way out. As far as I was concerned, we still had nothing to say to each other. I missed some of our talks,after all, when two people have been friends for a while, it's hard to break off total communication just like that, without giving it a second thought. If she wanted to talk to me, she could come to me first, even then, if all she wanted was to suggest I see a psychiatrist, she could keep on walking.
I started thinking about the old lady next door toRob and Jerald. How well had she known Sarah Morrison? How much did she remember? I've often heard when you get old, you remember things from a long time agomore clearly than you remember the present. Surely it couldn't just be coincidence that I had knownjust id and password to putin to gaininternet access on that computer. The only explanation that came to mindwas that I had been her, in a previous life. The thought of ever having blind in any life left me feelingtotally unsettled. What other explanation was there?
I arrived home, and turned on the radio for some music. I had just settled down in a chair, when the phone rang. I picked it up.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Um, Katharine, it's me, Tiffany."
"What do you want?" I asked.
"do I have to want something? Can't a girl call her best friend without wanting something?" questioned Tiffany.
"You want to tell me again how crazy I am, talk to me about going to a shrink, pay a huge fee, just to be told I'm imagining things? Why would I do that, when I have a so called best friend who tells me that for free?"
"Now Kath, I didn't say you were crazy, I just said, ...
"I know what you said," I broke in, "you said everything that's been happening to me is all in my head, it all amounts to the same thing."
"Well what would you have done if it had been reversed?" Tiffany inquired."
"Well," I said, hesitating for only a fraction of a second,"at least I would've considered giving my friend a positive benefit of the doubt."
"Well what did you expect me to say?" Tiffany sounded genuinely irritated, that I had been a little upset, and a little hurt, because she had dismissed my experiences as imaginary. She seemed to expect me to pretend none of it had happened.
"I saw you talking to Rob in the Silver Moon earlier"she commented.
I was a bit off guard by the sudden change of subject. "Rob? What has Rob got to do with it?" I asked cautiously. Why the sudden change of subject, I wondered. What was she leading up to?
"You didn't tell him about your ... um, " She groped for what she considered the right words, "your, um, situation did you?"
Now I was indignant. "No, I didn't tell him about my situation, as you so tactfully put it,and even if I did, what business is it of yours?"
Now it was Tiffany's turn to be hurt.She seemed, however,both angry and hurt at the same time.
"Well excuse me for being concerned about someone I thought wasa friend. It just seems to me that these happenings of yours aren't something you'dwant to be talking aboutwith a guy you were just beginning to get acquainted with."
"What on earth are you babbling about?" I asked, really puzzled."I know how you're beginning to feel about him" Tiffany stated.
"Are you crazy? I was stunned, what was the matter with her?
"Tiffany, I barely evenknow the guy, we'rejust barely friends." I liked talking to him, sure,but what Tiffanywas implying was so ridiculous, it wasalmost funny.
"Well for your information," I saidevenly, "I have nottold Rob anything about my happenings as you're wanting to call them now. If my best friend treated me like a candidate for the psyche ward, why would i expect it to be different with a complete stranger?"
"oh Katharine, don't be so defensive" Tiffany snapped. She was really working herself up. I had known her for two years, and in those two years, I have never seen her behave this way.
"Tiffany,"I put in,"I can't talk to you anymore."And with that, I hung up the phone.
Wow, what was that all about? I wondered dazedly, sounds like ole Tifis the one in need of a psychiatrist. What on earth was going through her head, tearing in to me like that? Shehad never been one for flying off thehandle the way she hadbeen doing just now. My mindkept going around incircles, seemingly from puzzlement to righteous indignation. Who did she think she was anyway? She couldn't just dictate my life, and what I wouldoor wouldn't say to a casual acquaintance! My emotions kept going back and forth, back and forth. My feelings were so mixed up. On the one hand, her tone and manner had angered me, but there was a small part of me that felt like something was definitely off. something just didn't feel right.
Tiffany and I hadn't after all known each other all our lives, so wasit possible that I didn't know her as well as I thought I did? She wasusually light hearted, fun to be with, not given to overreacting and tantrums. So why did she take off on me like that?It was a puzzler. What possible difference could it make to her what I told Rob? For the first time since I'd known her, I wondered if Tiffany was a little unbalanced, not a little unbalanced, I decided on further reflection, but totally bonkers. Nonsense, perhaps she was a little more excitable than I had always thought, but mentally unstable? I had been her friend for two years, wouldn't I have picked up on it if she weren'tquite right in the head? Well, maybe not. There were cases of peoplewho could go for years, fooling other people in to thinking they were normaland then without warning, suddenly snap. Should I be the one suggesting she go to a psychiatrist? No, I decided, whatever I did, I mustn't do or say anything to make her thinkI believed she was coming unhinged. I had become afraidit might set her off. What in the world was I going to do?
That night, I lay awake in bed for a long time, with no answer to the dilema I was now facing. What had made Tiffany go off like that? I tossed and turned,and when I finally did drop off, I was back in that other room once more, but this time, the dream had taken a decided turn for the worse.
It started out fairly normal enough, if you could call such dreams, visions normal. I was back in the room, working the computer, All of a sudden, there was a strong smell of smoke. It was starting to overtake me before I knew it. The room was on fire. Istruggled to find a way out. Where would I go if I did get out? The deadly fumes were about to overcome me. There was a back door somewhere. I felt my way cautiously out of the room. The back door seemed a long way away. I tried the door and found it locked! In total panic now, I pounded on it, but no amount of pounding on it would open it. I felt the smoke inhaling in to my lungs, felt myself falling. I awoke suddenly, my heart pounding, as if it were trying to run a marathon. Take it easy, I told myself, take slow deep breaths. I desperately wanted to get up, but it was still too early. I lay awake for the next few hours, and when the alarm rang, I sprang out of bed eagerly, not wanting to lie there another minute. I didn't want to fall back asleep again and have that horrible dream.
I busied my self making coffee, eggs and toast. I scarecely tasted what I ate. For the first few seconds after I had awakened, I could still almost smell the smoke. had the dream been that vivid? Yes, it was the most vivid part. It was the part that would stand out in my mind for a long time.
I got ready and headed offfor work. No matter what, I still had a job to do, and I still had to make a living. I pulled up to the Silver Moon, determined to focus on the job at hand. I went from table to table that morning,mechanically taking ordersin my usual casual manner. If customers noticed my preoccupation, they pretended otherwise. Customersknow when something's amiss when their order is wrong, and then that's all they notice, not whether the person who took their order is preoccupied or distressed, but only that they got something totally different from what they had ordered.
I was very careful to avoid Tiffany. The last thing I needed now was another stormy encounter with her.She kept trying to catch my eye, but I kept looking away, concentrating on my customers. I took great pride inmy ability to concentrate on myjob no matter what wasbothering me, and never letting anything take my mind off the orders I had been given. I worked steadily up until lunchtime. I was considering asking Charlie if it would be alrightto take a 20 minute break, when I saw a wrinkled elderly lady beingtaken to a tableby a much younger couple, probably her grandchildren,I thought. No chance for a break now. I went over to their table.
"Good afternoon," I greeted them pleasantly, "may I take your order now?"
They gave me their orders and I exchangeda few pleasantries with the elderly woman.
"Nice to meet you dear" she greeted.
"I don't think you'vebeen here before," I noted, "Nice to have you for a first time customer."
"Grandmother doesn'tget out much" The younger woman put in, "not like she use to."
"I'm not as young as I use to be," the elder woman observed,"just can't make these old limbs move the way they use to."
"Well you seem very spry to me," I remarked, "have you been here before?"
"Only twice," was the reply,"eleanor and Mark brought me," she gestured to the younger man and woman, "that's my grandaughter," she pointed, and that's her husband.
they both said how nice it was to meet me, but the older woman was the talkative one in the family.
"My next door neighbor comes over sometimesand we have a nice talk. Maybe you know them?" she asked, "Jerald and Rob Hansen?
What a stroke of luck. This was Rob's next doorneighbor, the one who had known Sarah Morrison.
"Yes I do," I said, not very well though, they just come in here occasionally." I considered how bestto bring up the subject of Sarah.
"Rob tells me you use to know a blind woman," I began,what was she like?"
"Sarah?" she thought for a minute, "usuallyvery sweet," commented the woman, "she could tell you off in a minute if you cornered her, or rubbed her the wrong way, but I never had any problem with her.We got on well together.She even let me hear that thing that readthe computer screento her," she wrinkled her brow in concentration, "now let me see, what did she call it?odd name, sort of like the name of a shark in that movie, it's over 60 or 70 years old that movie. I just can't quite think of the name.These oldbrain cells don't work the way they use to,and it was so long ago,at least 50 years ago."
"Could it be jaws?" I prodded gently.
"What's that dear?" She had wondered from the subject a little, but she got back in to it easily.
"Jaws,"I reminded, "the thing that read the screen, could jaws be the name of it?"
"Come to think of it, it was. It didn't have a bad voice to be mechanical," she mused. "almost realistic, it was.I never was much inclined when it came to computers. Sarah asked me about it once. "Elizabeth," she said to me once, "have you thought about having a computer of your own?"
"land sakes alive," I said,"don't have the timeor patience with the fool thingsone error after anotherwhen something goes wrong with them."
"That's true enough," I admitted,"and I'm sure back then you had more errors than you do now."
"Yes indeed," Elizabeth agreed, "and of course they were biggerthan they are nowadays, big bulky things that almost broke a persons' back trying to carry one."
"And was Sarah's computer that heavy?" I asked.
"Oh my yes," Elizabeth responded, it was wide, and it sat on a desk."
"Very interesting" I murmurred. It sounded exactly like the onein my vision.
"Come to think of it, I haven't introduced myself, have I?" Elizabeth recalled."I'm Elizabeth Porter."
"Nice to know you Mrs Porter."
"No need to stand on formalities dear, just call me Elizabeth, all my friends do."
"Grandma doesn't know what a stranger is"commented Eleanor.
"Don't be silly dear," Elizabeth saidmildly, "after all, she does know Rob and Jerald."
"Well be that as it may," interrupted Mark, "we have to get going, Eleanor has things she needs to do."
"Before you go," Iquestioned, "did you know Sarah before she died?"
"Oh yes indeed" Elizabeth was quick to respond.
"How did she die?" I asked.
"she died in a fire."
There was so much more I wanted to ask, so much more, butMark and Eleanor had been in such a hurry to go. I thought of the flames I had felt in the vision, and shivered. Had it been bad wiring that had started the fire? Was itjust an unfortunate accident, or had it been deliberately set? Oh great! not only had I been blind in some previous life, but I had died a horrible death, and now here I was fancying a murder. Why would anyone want to murder a blind person, Ipondered. Why was I even thinking such things, all Elizabeth Porter had said was that she died in a fire, nothing more, nothing less.
I heard the door swing open, and turned to see Rob and Jerald making their way to a table.
"What a nice surprise" I greeted them.
"I can't stay," said Jerald,I have to get back to the garage,that's where I work, but I'll call a taxi to come pickRob up in about an hour."
"Have a good afternoon" I said.
"You too" Jerald replied as he was going out the door.
"You missed your next door neighbors,"I told rob, after Jerald was gone. "They were here a little earlier."
"How did you like talking to them?" Rob asked.
"They were very nice," I responded, but I think Elizabeth is the talker in the family."
"That's Elizabeth," Rob grinned, "she can always keep a conversation going if it starts to lag."
"We were talking about Sarah."
""Oh, what about her?"Rob seemed genuinely interested.
"She told me Sarah died in a fire."
"That's right," Rob replied, "it was very sudden. Elizabeth says noone really knows how it started."Why the sudden interest?" He was curious, not that I blamed him, if the circumstances were reversed, I would wonder why all the interest myself.
"Oh, nothing really" I hedged, hoping I sounded casual.
"I can't believe that," Rob observed skeptically, "I have a feeling it's more than that. Want to talk about it?"
"No, that's ok" I declined
"I'm a good listener," he assured me, "and I won't go around gossiping about it, whatever it is." I considered. I was feeling more and more comfortable with Rob the more we were together. Yes, he might think I'm totally nuts, sowhat else would be new? he and I hadn't known each other as long as Tiffany and I had, and it wouldn't hit me quite as hard if he didn't believe me,and I was prepared for his reaction, whatever it would be. I decided to go for it. I fumbled for the right words, decided there weren't any, and took the plunge.
"I've been having some sort of vsions and dreams about being in another place and time" I blurted. So far, so good, Rob hadn't started laughing yet.
"I don't know why I'm having them," I rushed on, "they just started coming for no reason at all.
"There's usually always a reason," Rob observed, "why don't you start from the beginning?
I told him everything,including the room, the desk, and the computer.
"That's really amazing you were aware of so much detail"
Rob was genuinely interested, andit felt comforting to know someone was actuallylistening to me,and not out of a sense of trying to humorsomeone whowasn't quite all there, but with a real sense of sympathy and understanding.
"You don't think I'm crazy?"I asked, in humble gratitude.
"Not at all," Rob assurred me. "There are a lot of strange things that happen, which we don't understand, but it doesn't mean we're completely psycho, and need to rush out to the nearest psychiatrist."
"Thank you," I said in relief, "thank you so much."
"For what?" he seemed puzzled.
"for believing in me, and not thinking I'ma total flake," I said, "mostanybody would."
"Define anybody" requested Rob.
"Tiffany does."
"Tiffany doesn't make up the total universe,"Rob seemed matter of fact. "What was her reaction?"
"she told me it was all in my head, and she got all worked up about whether or notI told you any of this,she just went totally off the wall about it."I told him about how she had jumped all over me, and practically demanded to know if I had told him, and how angry, how hostile she'd seemed.
"Hmmm, sounds like she has some sort of problem of her own she doesn't want to deal with"Rob mused.
"I thought she was my best friend," I vented, "I thought she'd at least give me the benefit of the doubt and not just blow it off like I'msome sort of nut case."
"How long have you and Tiffany known each other?"
"two years, ever since I came to work here. Rob seemed to consider for a second. "That's notreally as long as you think, after all, you've probably been togethermostly on the job, maybe been to each others' house occasionally. Sometimes we don't know what a friend we have in aperson until the friendship is put to the test. Perhaps you and Tiffanydon't know each other as well as you think."
"Yeah," I said with a small shrug, "you could be right, we neverreally have gone throughany tough times together."
"Now about these visions," Rob observed, "what you need is a hypnotist."
"A hypnotist? You mean one of those folk who hypnotize people on the stageand make them cluck like a chicken?"
"No,not quite like that, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind,"Rob laughed. "Although it might be fun to hear you cluck like a chicken."
"Oh stop it" I laughed inspite of myself. Rob seemed to be the only person who could make me laugh, even while I was going through a bad time.
"What I'm talking about," Rob continued, "is someone who could put you under and take you back in time, and if you were Sarah in a previous life,he can take you back and help you figure out what happened."
"I've never been hypnotized before" I said hesitantly.
"There's not much to it," assurred Rob, "he just encourages you to relax, then he counts backwards, and gives you a hypnotic suggestion to go back in your mindto a point in time."
"You mean the time of the fire? To me, that seems the mostimportant part."
"Oh I'm sure it's important," Rob agreed,"something very tragic happened. I would make one small suggestion."
"What's that?"
"Get Tiffany to go with you."
"Now why in the world would I do that, we aren't even on speaking terms."
"True," Rob agreed, "but there's something strange going on with her, maybe the hypnotist can help her too."
I was skeptical. "She won't go for it," I said, "There's no way she'll go with me."
"Tell her you've thought it over, andyou've decided to take her advice."
"I hope I can pull it off," Isaid doubtfully, "what if she suspects something?"
"What's there to suspect?" You're jusgoing to try to find some answers about why you're having these visions,you want to get to the bottom of it,and hopefully, when you get the answers you need, they'll stop."
"I hope so," I exclaimed with meaning, "and besides,being in the dark like that is no picnic. And there's the contradiction of it all."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean,hereI am havinghalucinations or visions of another life and time, and what's worse, I'm totally blind in them,you might call them blind halucinations, or, blind visions. It's awful.I realized how that must've sounded.
"I'm sorry, that came out all wrong. I didn't mean being blind is necessarily terrible,I just meant, ..." Oh no, was I going to start stammering and fumbling again?
"Hey, don't sweat it," Rob was easygoing, just as Jerald had said.I probably wouldit awkward having sighted visions."I hadn't thought of that.
"Rob?"
"Yeah?"
"I really am sorry about what happened that day I bumped in to you."
"Hey, didn't we already settle that?"
"Yes, I know we did, but at first, I was more concerned about my job, and what Charlie might do.He's very particular about his customers, and I was afraid I might get fired."
"I know," Rob commented, "but I think most people in your shoes would've tried to put a different spin on it, tried to say I misunderstood what happened, but you admitted it, and I appreciate it.
"I've gotten to know you a little better," I explained, "you changed my perspective," I continued earnestly, "you really have. Maybe knowing you, and having the visionshave worked together in changing me, I don't know."
"Maybe the visions gave you moreof the perspective than getting to know me" Rob reflected.
"I still think it's both together," I insisted, "after all, there's nothing quite like going from a sighted environment to a blind environment all in one leap."
A horn honked insistantly.
"There's the cab Jerald called for me," said Rob, "I have to go, but remember, find that hypnotist, and get Tiffany to go with you."
"Alright, I'll do my best" I promised.
t
There was a slack in business, which gave me the opportunity I both needed and dreaded.I didn't look forward to talking to Tiffany, but what to be done, had to be done.
I spotted Tiffany clearing off one of the tablesbefore preparing for her break. I approached a bit reluctantly.
"Well?"her tone was guarded, I thought we said everything there is to say
I ignored her slightly icy tone.
"I've been thinking it over,and I decided you were right.Perhaps I do need to see someone, someone who can help me figure out why these visions are happening." It seemed important that Tiffany think I no longer believed the visions were real, but a product of over imaginings.
"Well that's more like it" Tiffany said.
She seemed relieved about the possibility that i was taking her advice to heart, and I was thinking sensibly, or at least what her idea of beingsensible was.
"What made you change your mind?"Tiffany wanted to know.
I hoped my answer didn't sound rehearsed.
"Well, I started thinking,the whole idea ofgoing back in timeseemed a bit ridiculous, and what would be the point of it, anyway."
"I'm glad you're seeing things in a more clear light" was Tiffany's response.
"I was wondering though, if you'd come with me?"
"Why?"
I thought rapidly, "for morral support, I put in quickly, "I've never been to a psychiatrist before,and I'm a bit nervous."
"Well alright, if you're sure."
"Yes, I'm very sure. I need you there."
Things didn't really feel the same between us anymore, but we were talking. Somehow, I sensed things would never be the same between us again.
"Good," I said, "I'll find one and get an appointment as soon as I can."
Tiffany made no mention of the sceenwe had had a few days ago, and since it was important that things remain calm between us, I didn't bring it up. The slightest disagreement could make Tiffanychange her mindand decide not to go with me. I wondered if she had been involved in Sarah's life, and if so, what had been the relationship? I believe Rob had been right when he said somethingwas strange with her. if she had noticed Rob and I talking, she didn't comment about it.
The rest of our shift passed slowly.I made the process of finding a hypnotist a high priority, and felt it would be best to start as soon as possible.I would begin looking on the internetfirst thing, when I got homefrom work.
The customers started dwindling, so at 3, Charlie said Tiffany and I could leave for the day.
"Don't see why not," Charlie muttered, "business is slacking up, customers have just about stoppedcoming, so I don't see any reason why you can't go on home."
"um, Charlie," I broached the subject carefully. "I might need a couple of days off this week."
"What for?" he asked, "is it important?"
"Doctors'appointment" I thought quickly. Well it wasn't actually a lie, I told myself, a hypnotist was sort of a doctor
"Nothing serious I hope."He had the good grace to sound a bit concerned,but I suspect part of his concern wasbeing one waitress shorton what might be a busy day.
"Oh no, not at all," I assurred him, "I've just been feelinga little tired and run down lately."
"Can't have that," was Charlie's response, "I want my waitresses in good shape, so, I'm giving you the next 2 days off, I just hope you won't need Friday off,that's usually one of our busiest days."
"I don't think it will take that long," Ireplied, hoping I was right,I just need a couple of days, that's all."
"Ok, go home and take care of your self."
"I need to go with her Charlie," Tiffany put in, "morral support, you know."
"Oh alright," Charlie relented, though a bit unwillingly, "but I'd better see both of you in hereFriday, understand?"
"Thanks Charlie," I said, "you're a real champ."
"Yeah, that's me," Charlie agreed, Charlie the champ, who's going to be two waitresses short." He waved a good byegesture, "go on, get going soI can close up."
Tiffany and I walked out together,but there wasn't the old chatter and conversationbetween us that use to come so naturally.
"Let me know when you find a psychiatrist" she said, just before getting in to her car.She was in the car and driving away before I could even say alright.Oh well, I had the feeling that we would never be as closeas we had been.
I got in my car and drove home. As soon as Iwent in the house, I turned on the computer, logged on the net,and did a search for hypnotists. My first search turned up dozens of results, most of them far away,Nevada, California, New York,and Chicago. I tried again,this time typing in, hypnotists, north Carolina. Bingo! I found one only 3 miles away.His name was Dr Harvey Walton, highly recommended, seemingly good refferences.I was in luck. There was atelephone number listed, although I had to go down several links in the home page to find it. I picked upthe phone and dialed the number.
"Doctor Waltons' office" an efficient sounding woman said in to the phone.
"I'd like to make an appointment with Dr walton?"
"Name?" came the efficient voice.
Katharine Walker."
"and what is in reference to?"
"It's personal"I answered. I didn't think it would be a good idea totell this cool efficient nurse, or receptionist, the real reason I needed to see dr Walton.
"One moment please" there was a click as the phone was laid down.She was back in a couple of minutes.
Miz Walker?"
"Yes
"The doctor can take you at 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon."
"Thank you very much." I replied, obviously gladhe could fit me in so soon.
"We'll be expecting you," responded the efficient voice, "goodbye."
?"
I called Tiffany the next morning.
"I found a doctor" I told her.
"What time is your appointment?"
"2 o clock this after noon."
"Fine, I'll be over about ten till."
Tiffanys' tone was cold,noncommital, but that wasn't a surprise, I was probably just as icy and stiff with her. We seemed to have nothing to talk about anymore. I would be glad when this whole thing was over and done with. I hadn't asked for these stupid visions anyway, however, they had helped me to get to know Rob much better,and to see him in an entirely new light, which I probablywould never have done, if not for the flashbacks, and that, I would always be grateful for. If not for the odd flashes, I might not haveeven given Rob the time of day, and I would've missed out on something special.I still however, did not want to go through life having flash backs of another time, it still felt awkward and creepy.
It was almost ten til 2, and Tiffany showed up almost to the minute.
"You ready to go?" she asked the instant I opened the door.
"Yes" I responded shortly.
"Then let's get this whole business over with."
:"Tiffany, why are you being this way?" I asked, puzzled, "anyone would think you're the one having the flashbacks. I'm the one having them, not you. Don't you think I want them to be over with? Do you think I like suddenly popping off in to a time warp? I don't trust me. It's very unsettling to have these things come on youfrom out of no where."
"And I still say it's not what you think it is," Tiffany said stubbornly,"You're probably working too hard."
"I'm not working any harder than you" I argued back.
"well anyway we're here,so let's go in and see what the shrink has to say."
She was obviously relieved to have the subject dropped.
I drew the car up to a building that said, Dr Walton, hypnosis specialist
"You didn't tell me he was a hypnotist"Tiffany said as we got out of the car.
"I figured if maybe I could be put under, it might help me figure these flashbacks out."
She seemed tense, but said nothingelse as we made our way inside.A no nonsense woman approached us.
"Yes?
So, it wasthe cold efficient woman I had talked to on the phone.
I have an appointment with Dr Walton? Katharine Walker?
"Oh yes," she was just as brisk and efficient in person,"wait right here."
We waited for what seemed like along hour, but was actually little more than 35 or 40 minutes, when the nurse came up.
"The doctor will see you now."
We followed the woman in to a small room."Have a seat," she instructed, "the doctor will be with you in a moment."
"Thank you" I replied. The nurse went out without so much as a, "you're welcome."
Tiffany and I sat in DrWaltons' small office room not talking at all.
After about 15 minutes, I wasstarting to get really boared and anxious, when the door opened and a manof about middle age appeared.
"Good afternoon ladies, I'm Dr Walton"
"Goodafternoon doctor," I greeted him, "thank you for seeing me on such short notice."
"No problem," heassurred me, "I didn't have any appointments scheduled for this hour, so it was no problem fitting you in." Dr Walton turned then to Tiffany,who up till that time had sat in total silence.
"Are you a relative of miss Walkers?"
"No, just a friend, I'm Tiffany Johnston. She asked me to come with her."
"That's fine," Dr Walton responded, turning his attention back to me. "Now miss Walker, my nurse stated that when she asked you the reason for this appointment,yousaid it was personal,and declined to give a reasonis that correct?"
"Yes," I thought for what I needed to say. Dr Walton must've sensed my hesitation.
"Now there's nothing to be nervous aboutmiss Walker, just relax, and start from the beginning."
"Well doctor, Idon't really know how to begin.It's all so bizarre. I didn't really want to come, but I'm at my wits' end."
"It's quite alright Miss Walker,just start at the beginning, don't worry about how insane it sounds, just say it right out."
"I've been having flashbacks of a previous life."
"I see, go on."
My bold statement had made no impression on the good doctor whatsoever.His manner implied that people who claimed experiences of a past lifewere perfectly normal, just part of a working day.
"You don't seem surprised," I commented, "do you have people comein often claimingto have experiences of a past life?"
"My dear, I 've heard them all,"was the reassurring response, "I even had a woman in here a few weeks ago,claiming her dog wasreally her x husband in a previous life."
"so she wanted you to hypnotize her because of that?"
"Oh no, it was the dog she wanted hypnotized. The marriage ended with hostility on both sides, and after their divorce, the x husbanddied a year later. The woman bought a dog not so longafter her husband was deceased, and the dog was sounruly and so unmanageable, that to this very day, the woman solemnly swears that her x husband hated her so much, he wanted revenge, and coming back as a dog was the only way he could do it."
"Doctor," she said to me once, "my husband was a dog in human form, so it's only fitting that heshould come back with four legs."
I couldn't help chuckling, it was so ridiculously funny.
""That's better," said Dr Walton cheerfully, "nice and relaxed,now let's get back to your problem, shall we? Start at the beginning, and tell me as much as you can remember. Oh, just a moment." He opened a drawer in his desk, and took out a small portable cassette recorder.
"I always find taping these sessions very useful," he explained, "This might turn out to be very interesting."Are you ready?" Dr walton asked.
"Yes, I'm ready."
I'm going to count backwards from 10 to 1, when I've counted to 1, you will be deeply asleep,and you will only hear my voice. Just lean back and relax."
I leaned back as dr Walton continued in thatsoft quiet voice.
"10, 9, you're very relaxed.8, you're eyelids are growing heavier and heavier. Just keep listening to the sound of my voice. 7, you're whole body is getting heavier and heavier. 6, you're feeling calm and relaxed.5, 4, 3, 2, 1. You are now deeply in a trance."
I felt myselfdrifting, hearing nothingbut Dr Waaltons calm voice.
"Can you hear me Katharine?"
"yes."
He took me back gradually through the years, back to my childhood,even to my first day of school. I kept telling my parents I didn't want to go, but they insisted, telling me what a good time I would have, and I would learn so many things.
"We are going to go back even further, Katharine, even before you were born. Where are you now?"
"In a room."
"Describe the room, can you see it?"
"No."
"Why can't you see the room Katharine?"
"I'm blind, I can't see anything."
"Is your name still Katharine?"
"No."
"What is your first and last name?"
"Sarah Morrison."
"Do you still know what's in the room Sarah?"
"Yes."
"Try to feel around you, and tell me what you feel."
"a desk.it's rather a large desk,and the computer on it is big. It has two drawers on the side. They're deep drawers.They're very narrow, but they're long."
"That's fine Sarah. Do you have any friends?Neighbors? People you see on a halfway regular basis?"
"Elizabeth comes by almost every day."
"Who's 'elizabeth?"
"She lives nextdoor."
"Do you have any other friends?"
"Shirley anne, she's my best friend."
"Anyone else?"
"My fiance."
"What is his name
"Harold Wainright."
"Are you, Harold, and Shirley Anne close?"
"Harold and I love each other. We're going to be married in a few months."
"how does Shirley anne feel about that?"
"she's ok with it.She was interested in Harold for a while, but Harold didn't feel the same way.Shirley was upset about it at first, but she got over it,and came to accept it.
Oh no!"
"What's wrong Sarah?"
"I smell smoke! The room is on fire!"
I felt the overwhelming feeling of panic seize me all over again,just as it had in my nightmare.
"It's alright Sarah," Dr Walton assurred me in thatsoft soothing tone, "nothing's going to hurt you, you're just an observer. Stay calm."
"I'm trying to get to the back door. it's so far away."
I staggered in to the livingroom, trying for allI was worth to reach the back door.
"Are you at the back door Sarah?"
"Yes, but it's locked, I can't unlock it!
I kept turning the knob, but with no success.This time as Ikept trying to turn the knob, I heard somethingI didn't remember hearing in the dream. I heard what sounded like mad laughter. I could feel myself starting to collapse.
"I'm going to bring you out now," Dr Walton was saying, "I'm going to count backwards from 5 to 1, and on the count of 1, you will awaken, and you won't be Sarah Morrison anymore,you'll be Katharine Walker again. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
I sat up, feeling bewildered.
?"
.
Dr Walton stood over me. "are you alright Katharine?"he asked with some concern.
"I think so," I said, a bit shakily,"I could feel those flames all around me,It was soo ...
I broke off. Tiffanyappeared to be agitated,her eyeslooked deranged.
"Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?" she half wailed, half screamed,"Why did you have to start digging and poking and prodding?They would've stopped sooner or later."
"I think you should hear this Katharine," Dr Walton started to switch on the recorder.
"No! no! no! Tiffany screamed,"I don't want to hear it again, don't touch that thing.Now I'll have to do it all over again."
"There's no fire Tiffany," Dr Waltonsaid, keeping his voice calm, "you don't have to do this thing all over again Tiffany," he tried assuring her, "Who youwere then has nothing to do with who you are now."
"Oh yes it does," Tiffany insisted, her voice sounding wild and insane, "she took him from me back then, and now she's trying to do it all over again.That's why we both came back, so I could have what should've been mine before."
"Tiffany," Dr Walton cut in gently, "stop and think about it. Isn't it possible that bothSarah and Harold were both reborn in to this life to have the happinessthat was cut short for them in the previous life?
"No!" Tiffany was insistant on this point, "I was suppose to have him, not her."
The door opened, and the cool efficient nurse came in.
"Is anything wrong doctor," she inquired anxiously, "I thought I heard screaming in here."
"Miss Johnston is a bit upset and agitated Miss Neilsen, would you take her outside please?"
"Come along Miss Johnston, that's it." The nurse took Tiffanyby the arm.
"Take your hands off of me, let me go" Tiffany screamed.
A male attendant was brought in to take her out. Tiffany fought and struggled,but he held her down, half dragging, half carrying her out.
When they had gone, Dr Walton sighed.
"She must've recently started having flashbacks sometime after yours" he observed.
"But when I told her about mine, she said they were all in my head" I replied, not understanding.
"That's probably what she wanted you to think," was Dr Waltons explanation,"she probably thought if they were ignored, they would go away."
"You don't think they would've, do you doctor?"
Dr Walton shook his head.
"It's hard to say in situations like this, but it's highly doubtful. These things have to be rooted out. Now that you've begun putting the pieces together, they'll probably stop as suddenly as they started."
"Do you really believe we came back in order to find the happiness we missed in the last life?"
"We can't be sure of these things," Dr Walton mused,"but I think we have to believe it in order to survive.In cases like this,we have to look for the positive side of it. Hopefully in time, your friend will come to realize it and come to grips with it."
"I don't think she's my friend anymore," I said, "not after all that's happened."
"Well," Dr Walton reflected, "it's better you found out nowinstead of later. she might've started having flashbacks sooner,and you would've been in real danger."
"So my being put under just triggered her flashbacks?"
"Yes," Dr Walton answered without hesitation, "this just brought them on sooner, that's all."
I stood up to go.
"Thank you doctor," for everything,"I said, "you've really helped."
"Not at all," he responded "I'm just sorry it had to be under these circumstances."
"It was for the best I knew exactly what happened," I said, "now maybe theflashbacks will stop."
"I'm sure they will."
I walked out of Dr Waltons' office,feeling relieved and yet sad at the same time. I was relieved, because I knew the flashbacks were gone.I feltsad, because I also felt my friendship with Tiffany was in the past. I believed as doctor Walton seemed to believe,that we had all come backin another time to find the happinessthat we were denied in the past life. It pained me to think that Tiffany felt the exact opposite. In her mind, she had come back toget the one personshe felt she was denied. She had had some strange inner vision of her own, that 'Rob had been Harold Wainright. I hoped there would be help for her, and she would find someone she could truly be happy with.
,
I decided to go to the Silver Moon for supper that night.I had had a very traumatic day, and I needed a place to unwind, and it might as well be the Silver Moon as anywhere else.
Charlie greeted me at the door.
"Katharine?" he exclaimed in surprise, "I didn't expect to see you here, is everything alright?"
"Things are ok," I assurred him, "I had my doctors' appointmenttoday and everything's ok, it's finished."
"No problems then?"
"Nothing I can't sort out, I found out what I needed to know."
"So, are you rarin to get back to work?"
"Yes," I responded, "but Charlie, I don't think Tiffany will be for a while."
"What's wrong with Tiffany?"
"Tiffany and I both have been going through something I can't explain," I said slowly, "only right now, Tiffany's going through it worse than me,and it will take some time before she's herself again, that is, if she ever will be."
"Now I'm confused" charlie stated.
"I don't blame you, I would be too if I were in your shoes, but you just have to trust me on this, I've never lied to you."
"No, you haven't," Charlie admitted, "and you've always been one of my better waitresses. You've always been fast on your feet, even when thingsgot hectic, and people were rushing you around like crazy."
"Thanks," I smiled, but don't sell yourself short, you haven't been a bad boss either."
"Gee thanks," charlie said in mock disappointment, I sing your praises to the sky, and all I get is a, you aren't a bad boss?"
"Ok," I pretended to relent, "You've been a great boss."
"That's much better"Charlie said, a chuckle in his voice.
We grew serious again. "but seriously, about Tiffany, I don't know when she'll be able to come back to work. I'd tell you about it, but it's so fantastic and bizarre, you wouldn't believe it if I told you."
"Alright," Charlie relented, "I won't pressure you to talk about it,but I hope you tell me about it sometime in the future."
I told him someday, I may be able to confide in him.
"Well," charlie observed, "I see I see two of your admirererson their way over now."
I greeted Rob and Jerald with gladness.
"Rob wanted to find out how your appointment with the doctor went" Jerald said.
"It ended up fine for me," I responded, "but it didn't turn out well for Tiffany at all."
Jerald looked at me in confusion. "I don't understand," his tone was questioning, "What did your doctors' appointment have to do with your friend?"
"It's a long story brother," Robput in, "and one you won't believe."
"Well now you've got my curiosityaroused," Jerald exclaimed with genuine interest, "Now you have to tell me."
Together, Rob and I toldJerald everything, starting with my flashbacks, right upto my session with Dr Walton.
When we had finished, Jerald sat back in total amazement.
"This is most fascinating," he mused dazedly, "Sounds like something out of a supernatural gothic thriller."
I nodded wisely. "Yes, I know, if someone were telling this exact same story to me, I'd probably thinkthe person was a few cards shy of a full deck."
"Elizabeth will findall this most interesting" Jerald said.
She would, I thought. Elizabeth Porter had struck me as someonewho was interested in many things, and who loved a good story. The fact that it was all true, contrary to making it less interesting, would probably serve to make it even more exciting for her.
Rob suddenly made an announcement.
"I'm going to make an appointment with Dr Walton as soon as he can fit me in, and get him to hypnotize me."
"Why would you want to do that?"inquired Jerald.
"I've had this strange feeling all alongthat Katharine and I knew each other," Rob explained, "I didn't know how or why, but the feeling was very strong, at least from the second or third time we met.
Jerald half shook his head, halfnodded."I thought I could sense something between you two," he commented, "I didn't dreamit would be anything like this."
"Neither did we." Both Rob and I spoke at once, which made both of us laugh.
We all had an enjoyable evening. Charlie offered to give me another couple of days off, but I declined, telling him it was best for me to get back to normal everyday life.
Rob did in fact go see Dr Walton, and under hypnosis,he discovered he had indeed been Harold Wainright 60 years ago.He told me about it a week later, when there was one of those slacks in customers.
He had gone over to see Sarah, and was greeted by a horriblesight. The flames were all around the house. Sarah haddied more from smoke inhalationthan by the burns she had received.Harold had found her body and was grief stricken.
"I relived it all over again," Rob told me. Every emotion Harold felt so long ago, I felt.I felt the same heart wrenching pain."
I took his hand. "I'm so sorry you went through such a horrible experience. I wish with all my heart, that I hadn't gotten you involved in my problem."
He squeezed my hand gently.
"Don't be. There was no way you could've known the outcome. And besides, if you hadn'tinvolved me, we would've never really been involved in each others' lives.I would've never gotten to know you."
"Nor I you, and knowing you is one thing I will never regret. Of course we haven't really known each other that long, just off and on from the conversations we've had."
"I'd like to remedy that," Rob said, "how about coming over to our housefor dinner tomorrow night?"
"I'd love to" I agreed happily.
"Oh, I almost forgot, Dr Walton told me to tell youTiffany would recover.She had a serious breakdown,but she will be alright in time."
I was so glad. I hoped sincerely that Tiffany would live a happy and fulfilled life.Dr Walton had been right, the person she had been in that other life hadnothing to do with the Tiffany I had worked with, and kidded with. I still thought of Tiffany and sHirley Ann as two separate people.
There's really not much to tell at this point. Rob and I have been seeing each other as much as we can. I have even started to learn braille, which was a whole new experience for me. I tried reading it with my eyes, but that was no good. Each time Itried, it all just looked like a bunch of bumps all running together. Rob instructed menot to even try reading it with my eyes,but learn to read it with my hands.
"You'll never be able to read it with your eyes," was what he told me. Just read it with your fingers,and either close your eyes, or look out the window."
I followed his instructions, and we were both shocked at my rapid progress.It was hard to learn at first, but in a matter of weeks, it felt like I'd known all along how to read it.
As the months passed, Rob and I grew closer. We both feel fortunate thatwe had literally and figuratively bumpedin to each others' lives. We still laugh and jokeabout that daywhen I had bumped in to Rob in the Silver Moon on that day, which turned out to bethe luckiest day of my life.
As Dr Walton had said, Tiffany did recover. I received a letter from herjust before she was released from the psychiatric ward. She told me she was sorry for everything, and she hoped we might be friends again, but we probably wouldn't be as close as we once were. She wouldn't be coming back to Winston, but she had decided to move to Charlotte and make a fresh start. She concluded the letter by sayingshe hoped Rob and Iwould be very happy together.I read the letter to Robas we sat in his living room late one evening. ?We both wished Tiffany well in whatever life she chose. Maybe if it was meant to be, she could come to our wedding. Rob and I are going through an engagement period right now. We're very happy and content. We both agree we want to take things slow, and be very sure before we take such a big step as matrimony. It will be a lot of work no doubt, but when the time comes, we'll know it, and be ready for it. We grow more and more certain of a life together as the weeks go by. Neither of us knows what will come, what the future holds in store,but we do know that come what may, we will face it together.
The end.
All I can say is wow! an excelent read most deffinatly! makes one stop and think is reincarnation in deed for real? Again, an excelent story from start to finish!
Thanks so much. Glad you liked it. I wasn't sure how many would like it, especially since it was so long. I usually don't have the confidence that I can hold reader interest up to the final page. I just noticed there have never been any stories having to do with people with disabilities and reincarnation, so, maybe this is original? Thanks so much for the great review.
wonderwoman
I very much agree with RR, this is a very good story from start to finish. It had me checking this topic each day to see if you'd added anything yet. It held my interest right to the end. In my opinion, you are a talented writer. If you write or have written anything else, I'd be interested in reading it.
Thanks so much ice master. I do have that ghost story I wrote once, and after I've rested up from getting all that story on my computer, I could maybe post that, but I got to tell you, it was rejected by Ellery queens mystery magazine, so thought I'd warn you of that. The only other thing I have is a humorous article I wrote about cb radios a long time ago, but I think you would've had to be interested in c b radios at one time to appreciate it.I was trying to write in erma Bombecks style when I wrote it.
Wonderwoman
Very good story. It kept me very interested all way through and like your robot friend story i found it very easy to follow even English is not my first language.
Good job.